Oscar Wilde, upon hearing one of Whistler's _bon mots_ exclaimed: "Oh,
Jimmy; I wish I had said that!" "Never mind, dear Oscar," was the
rejoinder, "you will!"


THE AUTHOR--"Would you advise me to get out a small edition?"

THE PUBLISHER--"Yes, the smaller the better. The more scarce a book is
at the end of four or five centuries the more money you realize from
it."


AMBITIOUS AUTHOR--"Hurray! Five dollars for my latest story, 'The Call
of the Lure!'"

FAST FRIEND--"Who from?"

AMBITIOUS AUTHOR--"The express company. They lost it."


A lady who had arranged an authors' reading at her house succeeded in
persuading her reluctant husband to stay home that evening to assist in
receiving the guests. He stood the entertainment as long as he
could--three authors, to be exact--and then made an excuse that he was
going to open the front door to let in some fresh air. In the hall he
found one of the servants asleep on a settee.

"Wake up!" he commanded, shaking the fellow roughly. "What does this
mean, your being asleep out here? You must have been listening at the