I often wished I might be bald-headed."


Congressman Longworth is not gifted with much hair, his head being about
as shiny as a billiard ball.

One day ex-president Taft, then Secretary of War, and Congressman
Longworth sallied into a barbershop.

"Hair cut?" asked the barber of Longworth.

"Yes," answered the Congressman.

"Oh, no, Nick," commented the Secretary of War from the next chair, "you
don't want a hair cut; you want a shine."


"O, Mother, why are the men in the front baldheaded?"

"They bought their tickets from scalpers, my child."


The costumer came forward to attend to the nervous old beau who was
mopping his bald and shining poll with a big silk handkerchief.

"And what can I do for you?" he asked.

"I want a little help in the way of a suggestion," said the old fellow.
"I intend going to the French Students' masquerade ball to-night, and I
want a distinctly original costume--something I may be sure no one else