will wear. What would you suggest?"

The costumer looked him over attentively, bestowing special notice on
the gleaming knob.

"Well, I'll tell you," he said then, thoughtfully: "why don't you sugar
your head and go as a pill?"--_Frank X. Finnegan_.


United States Senator Ollie James, of Kentucky, is bald.

"Does being bald bother you much?" a candid friend asked him once.

"Yes, a little," answered the truthful James.

"I suppose you feel the cold severely in winter," went on the friend.

"No; it's not that so much," said the Senator. "The main bother is when
I'm washing myself--unless I keep my hat on I don't know where my face
stops."


A near-sighted old lady at a dinner-party, one evening, had for her
companion on the left a very bald-headed old gentleman. While talking to
the gentleman at her right she dropped her napkin unconsciously. The
bald-headed gentleman, in stooping to pick it up, touched her arm. The
old lady turned around, shook her head, and very politely said: "No
melon, thank you."