_Materfamilias_. _I_ like the look of them much, JOHN. None of your
new, cheap, thinly-veneered, blown-together rubbish, smelling of
shavings and French-polish. Solid ma'ogany, every bit; the drawers run
as smoothly as could be wished, and--see! if there ain't actually some
sprigs of dry lavender still a laying in 'em!

_Paterfamilias_ (_decidedly_). Just so, my dear, I shall certainly bid
for them. [_Marks his catalogue vigorously._

_Auctioneer_ (_dropping his hammer smartly_). Sold! Remove the
first-class feather-bed, SAM. Buyer o' _that_ has a bargain! (_Nodding
blandly to pleased purchaser_). Really the prices at which things are
going to-night are ruinous! 'Owever, there's no reserve, and the lucky
public gets the pull. The next article, Ladies and Gents, No. 471, is
a very superior, well-made, fully-seasoned, solid Spanish, ma'ogany
chest of drawers. Chest o' drawers, SAM! (_To Paterfamilias._) _Would_
you mind standing a inch or so aside, Sir? Thanks! There they are,
Ladies and Gentlemen, open to hinspection, and warranted to bear
it. An unusually excellent lot, fit for the sleeping-apartment of a
prince, at a price within the means of a pork-butcher. (_Laughter._)
Oh, it's righteous, Gents. No 'umbug about _me_. There's quality, if
you like. Well worth a ten-pun note. What shall I have the pleasure
of saying for this very superior article? 'Ow much for the chest o'
drawers? Who bids for the ma'ogany chest? Thirty shillings. Thank
you, Sir! Any advance on thirty shillings? Thirty-five! _And_ six!
Thirty-five-and-six for this very desirable little lot! Worth five
times the amount, Ladies, as _you_ know! What do you think. Mum? [_To
Materfamilias, who smiles vaguely, and looks at her husband._

_Paterfamilias_. Two pounds! [_Feels he has made an impression._