_Auctioneer_. Two pounds! (_Confidentially to_ P.) _Your_ good lady
knows a good bit o' stuff when she sees it, Sir! Two pounds for the
chest! Two pounds! Any advance on a couple o' pounds? All done at
two pounds? Going at two pounds! (_Meeting silence, pretends to hear
another bid_). Two-pun-ten! Quite right, Sir! Very foolish to lose
such a superior harticle for a pound or two. Going at two-pun-ten!
Larst time, two-pun ten! Going--going--g--

_Paterfamilias_ (_hastily_). Two-fifteen!

_Auctioneer_ (_cheerily_). Two-fifteen! (_Taking other imaginary
bids_.) Three-pounds! Three-five! (_Thank you, Madam_). Three-ten!
Going at three-ten! Last time, three-ten! (_To Paterfamilias._) Are
_you going to lose it, Sir?_ Worth double, I assure you! Ask your good
lady!

_Materfamilias_ (_aside_). Bid three-fifteen, JOHN, but not a penny
more!

_Paterfamilias_ (_weakly_). Three-fifteen!

_Auctioneer_. Three-fifteen! Four! Going at four! Last time at four!
All done, four! Going, going--gone! (_Drops hammer_.) Sold at four
pounds, SAM! (_Looks round_.) Who bid four? [_No response, as the last
bid was imaginary._

_Sam_ (_huskily_). Gen'l'man as bid four jest slipped hout, Sir.

_Auctioneer_ (_tartly_). Tut--tut--tut! _Too_ bad, really. Well,