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A Parody Outline of History by Donald Ogden Stewart
page 33 of 104 (31%)

After a while she slept, her cheeks flushed, her heart beating
unnaturally.

VII

Late that night.

She opened her eyes; she heard men's voices; she felt her heart
still pounding within her at an alarming rate.

"And I told them then that it would come to no good end. Truly,
the Lord does not countenance such joking."

She recognized the voices of Miles Standish and Elder Brewster.

"Well--what happened then?" This from Kennicott.

"Well, you see, Henry Haydock got some of this Mencken's medicine
from one of the Indians. And he thought it would be a good joke
to put it in the broth at the church supper this evening."

"Yes?"

"Well--he did it, the fool. And when the broth was served, hell
on earth broke loose. Everyone started calling his neighbor a
Puritan, and cursing him for having banished Beauty from the
earth. The Lord knows what they meant by that; I don't. Old
friends fought like wildcats, shrieking 'Puritan' at each other.
Luckily it only got to one table--but there are ten raving
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