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A Parody Outline of History by Donald Ogden Stewart
page 47 of 104 (45%)
A knock, and the door opens to admit JOHN ALDEN, nonchalant,
disillusioned, and twenty-one.

JOHN: Good evening. Hope I don't bother you.

PRISCILLA: The only people who bother me are women who tell me
I'm beautiful and men who don't.

JOHN: Not a very brilliant epigram--but still--yes, you ARE
beautiful.

PRISCILLA: Of course, if it's an effort for you to say--

JOHN: Nothing is worthwhile without effort.

PRISCILLA: Sounds like Miles Standish; many things I do without
effort are worthwhile; I am beautiful without the slightest
effort.

JOHN: Yes, you're right. I could kiss you without any effort--
and that would be worthwhile--perhaps.

PRISCILLA: Kissing me would prove nothing. I kiss as casually
as I breathe.

JOHN: And if you didn't breathe--or kiss--you would die.

PRISCILLA: Any woman would.

JOHN: Then you are like other women. How
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