CANVASSERS AND CANVASSED.

(_AN ELECTIONEERING REMINISCENCE._)

SCENE--_A narrow South London Street of two-storeyed houses,
with a Rag-and-Bone Shop at one end and a Public House at the
other. Time, about four o'clock on a warm Saturday afternoon.
Enter Mr. CARLTON-JERMYN, a middle-aged gentleman, in
faultless get-up, who, in a moment of weakness, has undertaken
to canvass the district for his friend, the Conservative
Candidate._

_Mr. C.-J._ (_to himself, as he regards his surroundings with dismay,
and tries to arrange his canvassing-cards_). I suppose this _is_
Little Anna Maria Street? I didn't understand at the Committee Rooms
that it was _quite_ such a--however, I must do my best for dear old
TILNEY. Who's the first man I must see and "use my best endeavours to
persuade him into promising his vote?" Ah, Mr. J. SPLURGE, No. 1. (_He
picks his way delicately along, attempting to make out the numbers
on the doors, which are all thrown back; female residents watch him
from doorsteps and windows with amused interest._) No. 5; No. 3; the
next is No. 1. (_It is; but the entrance is blocked by a small infant
with a very dirty face, who is slung in a baby-chair between the
door-posts._) Very embarrassing, really! Can't ask such a child
as this if Mr. SPLURGE is at home! I'll knock. (_Stretches for the
knocker across the child, who, misinterpreting his intentions, sets up
a howl._) My good child, I assure you ... for Heaven's sake, don't!...
I--I wonder whether I ought to _kiss_ it--some fellows would!