[Illustration: "I wonder whether I ought to _kiss_ it--some fellows
would!"]

_Female Voice_ (_from side-window_). You leave that pore child alone,
will yer--or I'll come out and _tork_ to you, d'y'ear?

_Mr. C.-J._ (_to himself_). That's _Mrs._ SPLURGE! I think, perhaps,
I'd better _not_ wait. (_With an inspiration._) I'll leave a card.
(_Drops one of his visiting-cards in the child's lap--to its exceeding
terror--and retreats._) I'm _afraid_ I haven't produced a very
favourable impression, so far, I'll try No. 2, across the street. (_He
approaches a doorstep upon which two stout and dishevelled Women are
seated._) Er--I _beg_ your pardon, but could you kindly inform me if
Mr.--er--(_consulting card_)--GUFFIN is at home?

_First Woman_ (_with sarcasm_). Now _do_ yer think he's nothink else
to do but set indoors in a arm-cheer all day?

_Mr. C.-J._ I--I thought--I hoped--that, it being Saturday, I might
be--er--fortunate enough--have I the pleasure of addressing Mrs.
GUFFIN? [_Both Women are convulsed with uncontrollable mirth._

_Second Woman_ (_on recovering--calling down the passage_). 'Ere, Mrs.
GUFFIN, yer wanted. 'Ere's a gentleman come to see yer!

_Mrs. Guffin_ (_appearing from the basement, and standing at the
further end of the passage_). Well, what does _he_ want?

_Mr. C.-J._ (_raising his hat, and sending his voice down the passage
to her_). I ventured to call, Mrs. GUFFIN, in the hope of finding your