client who might come along when, through the glass of my door I saw
a shadow. Yes, it was doubtless some one to see me. Picture me, then,
grabbing the nice, shiny receiver of my new phone and plunging into an
imaginary conversation. It ran something like this: 'Yes, Mr. S.,' I
was saying as the stranger entered the office, 'I'll attend to that
corporation matter for you. Mr. J. had me on the phone this morning
and wanted me to settle a damage suit, but I had to put him off, as I
was too busy with other cases. But I'll manage to sandwich your case
in between the others somehow. Yes. Yes. All right. Goodby.' Being
sure, then, that I had duly impressed my prospective client, I hung up
the receiver and turned to him. 'Excuse me, sir,' the man said,
'but I'm from the telephone company. I've come to connect your
instrument.'"




BOARD OF HEALTH


Strolling along the quays of New York harbor, an Irishman came across
the wooden barricade which is placed around the inclosure where
immigrants suspected of suffering from contagious diseases are
isolated.

"Phwat's this fince for?" he inquired of a bystander.

"Oh," was the reply; "that's to keep out fever and things like that,
you know."