"Indade!" said Pat. "Oi've often heard of the board of health, but
bejabers, it's the first time Oi've seen it!"




BOARDING HOUSES


The fare at a certain boarding-house was very poor. A boarder who had
been there for some time, because he could not get away, was standing
in the hall when the landlord rang the dinner-bell. Whereupon an old
dog that was lying outside on a rug commenced to howl mournfully.

The boarder watched him a little while and then said: "What on earth
are you howling for? You don't have to eat it!"


In the soft firelight even the boarding-house sitting-room looked cozy
and attractive. The warmth and comfort thawed the heart of the "star"
boarder. He turned to the landlady and murmured. "Will you be my
wife?"

"Let me see," replied the landlady, "you have been here four years.
You have never once grumbled at the food or failed to pay my bill
promptly and without question. No, sir, I'm sorry. You're too good a
boarder to be put on the free list!"