"Allow me to congratulate you."

"What for?"

"Oh, for just anything--the sunshine, the blue skies, the fact that
you are up and about. Isn't that something?"

"No!"

"Then congratulate me for not having a disposition like yours."


"Have you heard my last joke?" asked the Pest, as he stopped the
Grouch on the street.

"I hope so," replied the Grouch, as he kept on traveling.


"Why is it, Bob," asked George of a very stout friend, "that you fat
fellows are always good natured?"

"We have to be," answered Bob. "You see, we can't either fight or
run."


"What a cheerful woman Mrs. Smiley is!"

"Isn't she? Why, do you know, that woman can have a good time thinking
what a good time she would have if she were having it."