WIFE--"Ah, you are the most unselfish and thoughtful husband in the
world; certainly it would."

HUSBAND--"Well, then, take the curtains down."


Willie's grandmother had come to visit them.

"Are you mamma's mother?" asked Willie by way of conversation.

"No, dear. I'm your grandmother on your father's side."

"Well," said Willie decidedly (he was an observing little fellow),
"all I got to say is you're on the wrong side."


SHE--"Just think of it! A few words mumbled by the minister and people
are married."

HE--"Yes, and, by George, a few words mumbled by a sleeping husband
and people are divorced."


Two friends met in the Strand the morning after an airplane raid.

"Any damage done your way?" the first asked.

"Damage! Rather!" answered the other. "Father and mother were blown
clean out of the window. The neighbors say it's the first time they've