stooped over the child's cot and a kiss was exchanged. After the kiss
the little girl drew back sharply, sniffed and said:

"'Why, mamma, you've been using father's perfume, haven't
you?'"--_Detroit Free Press_.


"Now, Sam," said the speaker, "I want you to be present when I deliver
this speech."

"Yassuh."

"I want you to start the laughter and applause. Every time I take a
drink of water, you applaud; and every time I wipe my forehead with my
handkerchief, you laugh."

"You better switch dem signals, boss. It's a heap mo' liable to make
me laugh to see you standin' up dar deliberately takin' a drink o'
water."


A Washington business man, says the Saturday Evening Post, desiring
to test the relative efficiency of two makes of mucilage, handed the
bottles one morning to his shiny-faced negro messenger.

"Here, John," he said; "try these and see which is the stickiest."

John did not show up at the office again until about noon-time.
He approached his employer's desk somewhat cautiously and gingerly
deposited thereon the two bottles of mucilage.