"Well, John," asked the boss, "which did you find the stickiest?"

"It wuz lak dis, boss," was the reply: "Dis one gummed up ma mouf de
most; but de other one, de taste lasted de longest."


UNABLE SEAMAN--"When I come around again the surgeon, he says to me,
'I'm blooming sorry, mate, I don't know what I was thinking about,'
he says, 'but there's a sponge missin', and I believe it's sewed up
inside yer!' 'What's the odds,' I says, 'let it be.' An there it is to
this day."

GULLIBLE OLD GENTLEMAN--"Bless my soul! Don't it trouble you?"

UNABLE SEAMAN--"I don't feel no particular pain from it, but I do get
most uncommonly thirsty at times, sir."


_See also_ Drunkards; Temperance.




DRUNKARDS


The Lord Mayor of London had been dining pretty well, and Mr. Choate,
Ambassador to England, was seeing his Lordship to the door.