An elderly rancher took some fine Kentucky horses to the West in
the early sixties. He was proud of them, and justly so. The old
gentleman's son had once seen a teamster lock one of his wagon-wheels
in going down a declivity. This precaution appealed to the young
fellow's idea of "safety first." He duly reported the occurrence to
his father, and begged him to get a, lock-chain.

"My son," said the old gentleman, "if I ever send you out with a team
that can't outrun the wagon, let 'em go to hell."


SOLICITOR (to business man absorbed in detail)--"I have here a most
marvelous system of efficiency, condensed into one small volume. It
will save you fully 50 per cent of your time, and so--"

BUSINESS MAN (interrupting irritably)--"I already have a system by
which I can save 100 per cent of my time and yours. I'll demonstrate
it now--Good-day!"


The hours I spend at work, dear heart
Are as arithmetic to me;
I count my motions every one apart--
Efficiency.

Each hour a task, each task a test,
Until my heart with doubt is wrung;
I conservate my darndest, but at best
The boss is stung.