O theories that twist and turn!
O frantic gain and laggard loss!
I'll standardize and stint at last to learn

To please the boss
By gum!
To please the boss.


"But," he adds, "as in everything else, there are exceptions. There
was Boggins, for instance. Boggins was a great efficiency man in the
office, but even more so at home. Why, every time Boggins Junior was
naughty his father laid him on the floor and spread a rug over him,
so that the beating would kill two birds with one stone, as you might
say."


A worm won't turn if you step on it right.


Efficiency is an admirable quality, but it can be overdone, according
to Representative M. Clyde Kelly, of Pennsylvania.

"Last election day," Mr. Kelly explains, "the city editor of my
newspaper in Braddock sent his best reporter out to learn if the
saloons were open in defiance of the law. Four days later he returned
and reported, 'They were.'"


"Sambo, I don't understand how you can do all your work so quickly,