rendered" returned to him with the following reply scrawled across the
billhead: "Dear Sir--I never ordered this beastly book. If I did, you
didn't send it. If you sent it, I never got it. If I got it, I
paid for it. If I didn't, I won't. Now go and hang yourself, you
fathead.--Yours very respectfully, John Jones."


PATIENT--"Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up--something
to put me in fighting-trim. Did you put anything like that in this
prescription?"

DOCTOR--"No. You will find that in the bill."--_Judge_.


_See also_ Debts; Collecting of accounts.




BLUFFING


VISITOR (at private hospital)--"Can I see Lieutenant Barker, please?"

MATRON--"We do not allow ordinary visiting. May I ask if you're a
relative?"

VISITOR (boldly)--"Oh, yes! I'm his sister."

MATRON--"Dear me! I'm very glad to meet you. I'm his