the case, in toto; because you have all heard the proverb--'there is no
takin' money out of an empty purse:' or, as an ould ancient author said
long ago upon the same subject:

'Cantabit whaekuus coram lathrone whiathur!'

--(Dshk, dshk, dshk*--that's the larnin'!)--He that carries an empty
purse may fwhistle at the thief. It's _sing_ in the Latin; but sing or
fwhistle, in my opinion, he that goes wid an empty purse seldom sings
or fwhistl'es to a pleasant tune. Melancholy music I'd call it, an'
wouldn't, may be, be much asthray al'ther--Hem. At all evints, may none
of this present congregation, whin at their devotions, ever sing or
fwhistle to the same time! No; let it be to 'money in both pockets,'
if you sing at all; and as long as you have that, never fear but you'll
also have the 'priest in his boots' into the bargain--("Ha, ha,
ha!--God bless him, isn't he the pleasant gentleman, all out--ha, ha,
ha!--moreover, an' by the same a token, it's thrue as Gospel, so it
is,")--for well I know you're the high-spirited people, who wouldn't see
your priest without them, while a fat parson, with half-a-dozen chins
upon him, red and rosy, goes about every day in the week bogged in
boots, like a horse-trooper!--("Ha, ha, ha!--good, Father Dan! More
power to you--ha, ha, ha! We're the boys that wouldn't see you in want
o' them, sure enough. Isn't he the droll crathur?")

* This sound, which expresses wonder, is produced by
striking the tip of the tongue against the palate.

"But suppose a man hasn't money, what is he to do? Now this divides
itself into what is called Hydrostatics an' Metaphuysics, and must be
proved logically in the following manner: