Larceny'--now hold your breath, for we're getting there--'Conflagration
and/or Fire....'" I paused to let it sink in. "The fact is," I continued
weightily, "we've had a Fire."

"Have we? But I wasn't dressed for it. I should have worn a mauve
_peignoir_, and been carried down to safety by a blond fireman. To have a
fire without a fire-engine is like being married at a registry-office. Next
time--"

"Nevertheless, we've had a Fire, within the meaning of the policy. Now I'm
going to write a letter to the Insurance Company."

And I did so to the following effect:--

"77, _The Supermansions_,
_S.W._

"DEAR SIRS,--I regret to inform you that a fire took place at/in the above
demesne and/or flat after tea to-day and damaged one (1) pair of khaki
slacks/trousers so as to render them unfit for further use. I shall
therefore be glad to receive from you the sum of two guineas, the original
cost price of the damaged article of apparel.

"Yours, etc."

Next day I took Suzanne out to buy the new hat. This done, we went on to my
tailor's to replace the ill-starred slacks. A casual inquiry as to price
elicited the statement that it would be four guineas. I cut short a
rambling discourse, in which the tailor sought to saddle various remote
agencies with the responsibility for the increase, and stamped out of the