establishment with the blasphemous vow that I'd get a pair ready-made at
the Stores.

That evening I received a reply from the Insurance people:--

"In all communications please quote Ref. No. 73856/SP/QR.

"SIR,--We note your claim for garments injured by an outbreak of fire at
your residence. We await the reports of the Fire Brigade and Salvage Corps,
on receipt of which we will again communicate with you. Meanwhile, will you
kindly inform us what other damage was done?

"We are, yours, etc."

I at once wrote back to remove their misapprehension:--

"DEAR SIRS,--My fire was not what you would call an outbreak. It was
essentially a quiet affair, attended by neither Fire Brigade nor Salvage
Corps, but just the family (like being married at a registry-office, don't
you think?). My khaki slacks were the only articles injured. As I am now
going about without them, you will realise that no time should be lost in
settling the claim.

"Yours, etc.

"P.S. I nearly forgot--73856/RS/VP. There!"

A day or two later I received a request, pitched in an almost slanderously
sceptical tone, for more detailed information. I humoured them, and there
ensued a ding-dong correspondence, in which that wretched Ref. No. was