bandied backwards and forwards with nauseating reiteration, and of which
the following are the salient points:--

_They._ Kindly state what you estimate the total value of the contents of
your residence to be.

_Myself_ (_after a searching inquiry into present prices_). £1,500.

_They_ (_promptly_). We beg to point out that you are only insured for a
total sum of £750. In accordance with the terms of your policy you are only
entitled to recover such proportion of the value of the loss or damage as
the total insured bears towards the total value of the contents--_i.e._,
one-half.

_Myself._ Two guineas is exactly one-half of four guineas, the present cost
of slacks. Please see attached affidavit from tailor. (By a masterly stroke
I had actually induced the rascal to set out his iniquity in black and
white.)

At last, twenty days after the fire, when I had finally screwed myself up
to the point of going out to buy a pair of reach-me-downs, I was rewarded
by receiving a cheque for two guineas from the Insurance Company, "in full
settlement."

By the same post I received a letter from the Adjutant of my Depôt
informing me that I was not to return at the expiration of my leave, but by
War Office instructions (I will spare you the Ref. No.) was to proceed
instead to the Crystal Palace for immediate demobilization. (That, by the
way, is part of the game of being a volunteer for the Army of Occupation.)
It was Suzanne who brought the two letters into their proper correlation.