At the same time, when I consider my children, who, having lost their
pastor, who bore them on his heart to the throne of grace, have double
need of a mother, I dare not indulge a wish, far less put up a
petition for release. O, that I could get under the influence of that
spirit which I have witnessed in my dear pastor--that entire
confidence in God--that perfect resignation to his will--that
complacency in all he has done, is doing, or will do--that rest in
God, of which he seems to be put in possession even now, while his
breast is laboring and heaving like a broken bellows, and he cannot
fetch one full breath. O, what cannot God effect.

"SUNDAY EVENING. I have again seen my dear pastor, and discern
the clay dissolving fast. The words of dying saints are precious, and
his are few. He thus accosted me: 'I am just waiting the will of God;
for the present I seem a useless blank in his hand; I can say very
little; be not too anxious for my life, but transfer your care to the
church; my life or death is but a trifle; if the Lord have any use for
me, it is easy for him to raise me up still; and if he do, it will be
agreeable to observe his hand distinct from men; if he should not, you
will all be cared for; leave all to him and seek his glory.' He could
say no more, nor will I to-night, but address myself to our Lord on
his behalf, yours, my own, and our dear concerns.

"Several days have elapsed since I last wrote; our dear doctor
still lives, often recruits, and again is reduced; but man can do no
more; my last page, before the vessel sails, shall be of him.

"As to myself and family, we are as the Lord would have it with
us, and I make no doubt as we need. Business very full; a house full
of boarders, and about sixty scholars. I begin to feel the effects of