gloomily eyin' the bill.

I allers hated crabs from the time they used to fasten to my bare toes
down in the old swimmin' hole in the creek. "Wall, you don't want any
bedevilled crabs, do you?"

[Illustration: "I allus hated crabs!"]

"No," sez I, faintly; for I wuz mortified enough to sink through the
floor if there had been any sinkin' place, and I whispered, "I'd ruther
go without any dinner at all than to have you act so."

"Oh, no," sez he, loud and positive, "you don't want to go without your
dinner; you want to be fashionable and cut style--you want to make a
show."

"Wall," sez I, faint as a cat, "I am apt to git my wish."

For three men looked up and laughed, and one girl snickered, besides
some other wimmen.

Sez I, hunchin' him, "Do be still and less go to our old place."

"Oh, no," sez he, speakin' up to the top of his voice, "don't less
leave; here is such a variety!"

"Potatoes surprise," sez he; "it must be that they are mealy and cooked
decent; that would be about as much of a surprise as I could have about
potatoes here, to have 'em biled fit to eat; we'll have some of them,
anyway.