"Philadelphia caperin'--I didn't know that Philadelphia caperin' wuz any
better than Chicago a-caperin' or New York a-caperin'. Veal o just! I
guess if he had been kicked by calves as much as I have, he wouldn't
talk so much about their Christian habits.

"Leg of mutton with caper sass--wall, it is nateral for sheep to caper
and act sassy, and it is nobody's bizness.

"Supreme pinted bogardus--what in thunder is that? Supreme--wall, I've
hearn of a supreme ijiot, and I believe that Bogardus is his name.

"Terrapin a-layin' on Maryland--I never knew that terrapin wuz a hen
before, and why is it any better to lay on Maryland than anywhere else?
Mebby eggs are higher there; wall, Maryland hain't much too big for a
good-sized hen's nest, nor Rhode Island neither."

"Josiah Allen," I whispered, deep and solemn, "if you don't stop I will
part with you."

Folks wuz in a full snicker and a giggle by this time.

"Oh, no," sez he, loud and strong, "you don't want to part with me till
I git you a fashionable dinner, and we both cut style.

"Tenderloin of beef a-tryin' on"--a-tryin' on what, I'd love to
know?--style, most probable, this is such a stylish place."

"Will you be still, Josiah Allen?" sez I, a-layin' holt of his vest.