twisting 'imself into shapes unnatural to a Christian. Then 'e found
out that everything 'e'd been doing on 'is back was just all wrong,
so 'e turned over and did tricks on 'is stomach--begging your pardon
for using the word--that you'd 'ave thought more fit and proper to a
worm than to a man. Then all that was discovered to be a mistake.
There don't seem nothing certain in these matters. That's the
awkward part of it, so it seems to me. 'E got 'imself a machine, by
means of which 'e'd 'ang 'imself up to the wall, and behave for all
the world like a beetle with a pin stuck through 'im, poor thing. It
used to give me the shudders to catch sight of 'im through the 'alf-
open door. For that was part of the game: you 'ad to 'ave a current
of air through the room, the result of which was that for six months
out of the year 'e'd be coughing and blowing 'is nose from morning to
night. It was the new treatment, so 'e'd explain to me. You got
yourself accustomed to draughts so that they didn't 'urt you, and if
you died in the process that only proved that you never ought to 'ave
been born.

"Then there came in this new Japanese business, and 'e'd 'ire a
little smiling 'eathen to chuck 'im about 'is room for 'alf an hour
every morning after breakfast. It got on my nerves after a while
'earing 'im being bumped on the floor every minute, or flung with 'is
'ead into the fire-place. But 'e always said it was doing 'im good.
'E'd argue that it freshened up 'is liver. It was 'is liver that 'e
seemed to live for--didn't appear to 'ave any other interest in life.
It was the same with 'is food. One year it would be nothing but
meat, and next door to raw at that. One of them medical papers 'ad
suddenly discovered that we were intended to be a sort of wild beast.
The wonder to me is that 'e didn't go out 'unting chickens with a
club, and bring 'em 'ome and eat 'em on the mat without any further