meant "No" and a nod, "Yes," a pull meant "Come" and a push,
"Go." Was it bread that I wanted? Then I would imitate the acts
of cutting the slices and buttering them. If I wanted my mother
to make ice-cream for dinner I made the sign for working the
freezer and shivered, indicating cold. My mother, moreover,
succeeded in making me understand a good deal. I always knew when
she wished me to bring her something, and I would run upstairs or
anywhere else she indicated. Indeed, I owe to her loving wisdom
all that was bright and good in my long night.

I understood a good deal of what was going on about me. At five I
learned to fold and put away the clean clothes when they were
brought in from the laundry, and I distinguished my own from the
rest. I knew by the way my mother and aunt dressed when they were
going out, and I invariably begged to go with them. I was always
sent for when there was company, and when the guests took their
leave, I waved my hand to them, I think with a vague remembrance
of the meaning of the gesture. One day some gentlemen called on
my mother, and I felt the shutting of the front door and other
sounds that indicated their arrival. On a sudden thought I ran
upstairs before any one could stop me, to put on my idea of a
company dress. Standing before the mirror, as I had seen others
do, I anointed mine head with oil and covered my face thickly
with powder. Then I pinned a veil over my head so that it covered
my face and fell in folds down to my shoulders, and tied an
enormous bustle round my small waist, so that it dangled behind,
almost meeting the hem of my skirt. Thus attired I went down to
help entertain the company.

I do not remember when I first realized that I was different from