my heart answered groaningly, No. Then fell with power that word of
God upon me, See that ye refuse not him that speaketh. This made a
strange seizure upon my spirit: it brought light with it, and
commanded a silence in my heart of all those tumultuous thoughts that
before did rise, like masterless hell-hounds, to roar and bellow, and
make a hideous noise within me. It shewed me also that Jesus Christ
had yet a word of grace and mercy for me that he had not, as I
feared, quite forsaken and cast off my soul: Yea, this was a kind of
check for my proneness to desperation; a kind of threatening of me if
I did not, notwithstanding my sins and the heinousness of them,
venture my salvation upon the Son of God. But as to my determining
about this strange dispensation, what it was, I know not. I have not
yet in twenty years' time been able to make a judgment of it. I
thought then what here I should be loath to speak. But verily, that
sudden rushing wind was as if an angel had come upon me; but both it
and the salvation, I will leave until the day of judgment. Only this
I say, it commanded a great calm in my soul. It persuaded me there
might be hope; it shewed me, as I thought, what the sin unpardonable
was, and that my soul had yet the blessed privilege to flee to Jesus
Christ for mercy. But I say concerning this dispensation, I know not
what yet to say unto it. I leave it to be thought on by men of sound
judgment. I lay not the stress of my salvation thereupon, but upon
the Lord Jesus in the promise; yet seeing I am here unfolding of my
secret things, I thought it might not be altogether inexpedient to
let this also shew itself, though I cannot now relate the matter as
then I did experience it. This lasted in the savour thereof about
three or four days, and then I began to mistrust and despair again."

No solid peace can enter the soul except that which is brought by the
Comforter. It is not the word read and heard, but the word revealed