together, feel my very body, as well as my mind, to shake and totter
under the sense of this dreadful judgment of God.

"Now I should find my mind to flee from God as from the face of a
dreadful judge; yet this was my torment, I could not escape his hand.
'It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the hiving God.'
But blessed be his grace, that scripture in these flying fits would
call as running after me,--'I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy
transgressions, and as a cloud thy sins; return unto me, for I have
redeemed thee.' This, I say, would come in upon my mind when I was
fleeing from the face of God; for I did flee from his face, that is,
my mind and spirit fled before him: by reason of his highness I
could not endure. Then would that text cry, Return unto me; it would
cry aloud, with a very great voice, Return unto me, for I have
redeemed thee. Indeed this would make me make a little stop, and, as
it were, look over my shoulder behind me, to see if I could discern
that the God of grace did follow me with a pardon in his hand.

"Once as I was walking to and fro in a good man's shop, bemoaning of
myself in my sad and doleful state, afflicting myself with self-
abhorrence for this wicked and ungodly thought; lamenting also this
hard hap of mine, for that I should commit so great a sin, greatly
fearing I should not be pardoned; praying also in my heart, that if
this sin of mine did differ from that against the Holy Ghost, the
Lord would shew it me; and being now ready to sink with fear,
suddenly there was as if there had rushed in at the window the noise
of wind upon me, but very pleasant, and as if I heard a voice
speaking,--'Didst ever refuse to be justified by the blood of
Christ?' And withal my whole life of profession past was in a moment
opened to me, wherein I was made to see that designedly I had not; so