more usual among poor creatures, than many are aware of, even to
over-run the spirits with a scurvy and seared frame of heart, and
benumbing of conscience, which frame he stilly and slily supplieth
with such despair, that, though not much guilt attendeth souls, yet
they continually have a secret conclusion within them, that there
is no hope for them; for they have loved sins, therefore after them
they will go. Jer. ii. 25, and xviii. 12.

26. Now therefore I went on in sin with great greediness of mind,
still grudging that I could not be so satisfied with it, as I
would. This did continue with me about a month, or more; but one
day, as I was standing at a neighbour's shop window, and there
cursing and swearing, and playing the madman, after my wonted
manner, there sate within, the woman of the house, and heard me;
who, though she also was a very loose and ungodly wretch, yet
protested that I swore and cursed at that most fearful rate, that
she was made to tremble to hear me; and told me further, that I was
the ungodliest fellow for swearing, that she ever heard in all her
life; and that I, by thus doing, was able to spoil all the youth in
the whole town, if they come but in my company.

27. At this reproof I was silenced, and put to secret shame; and
that too, as I thought, before the God of heaven; wherefore, while
I stood there, and hanging down my head, I wished with all my heart
that I might be a little child again, that my father might learn me
to speak without this wicked way of swearing; for, thought I, I am
so accustomed to it, that it is in vain for me to think of a
reformation; for I thought it could never be.

28. But how it came to pass, I know not; I did from this time