resolution of ceasing from and denying those things which I was now
convinced in my conscience were evil. And on this account a great
trial came quickly on me; for the general Quarter Sessions for the
Peace coming on, my father, willing to excuse himself from a dirty
journey, commanded me to get up betimes and go to Oxford, and
deliver in the recognisances he had taken, and bring him an account
what justices were on the bench, and what principal pleas were
before them; which he knew I knew how to do, having often attended
him on those services.

I, who knew how it stood with me better than he did, felt a weight
come over me as soon as he had spoken the word; for I presently saw
it would bring a very great exercise upon me. But having never
resisted his will in anything that was lawful, as this was, I
attempted not to make any excuse, but ordering a horse to be ready
for me early in the morning, I went to bed, having great strugglings
in my breast.

For the enemy came in upon me like a flood, and set many
difficulties before me, swelling them up to the highest pitch, by
representing them as mountains which I should never be able to get
over; and alas! that faith which could remove such mountains, and
cast them into the sea, was but very small and weak in me.

He cast into my mind not only how I should behave myself in court
and dispatch the business I was sent about, but how I should demean
myself towards my acquaintance, of which I had many in that city,
with whom I was wont to be jolly; whereas now I could not put off my
hat, nor bow to any of them, nor give them their honorary titles (as
they are called), nor use the corrupt language of YOU to any one of