"How did politics get you out?"

"Yer see, some time ago, when I was a candidate for justice ob de peace, I
gin' a barbecue ter some ob my frien's. De udder day da brung up de fack
an' ousted me."

"I don't see why the fact that you gave a barbecue to your friends should
have caused any trouble."

"Neider does myse'f, boss; but yer see da said dat I stole de hogs what I
barbecued. De proof wa'nt good, an' I think dat da done wrong in ackin'
upon sech slim testimony. Da said dat I cotch de hogs in a corn fid'. I
know dat wan't true, 'case it was a wheat fid' whar I cotch 'em."


56. A FAST-DAY TOAST

On one of the fast-days--a cold, bleak one, too--Father Foley, a popular
and genial priest, on his way from a distant visitation, dropped in to
see Widow O'Brien, who was as jolly as himself, and equally as fond of
the creature comforts, and, what is better, well able to provide them. As
it was about dinner-time, his reverence thought he would stay and have a
"morsel" with the old dame; but what was his horror to see served up in
good style a pair of splendid roast ducks!

"Oh! musha, Mistress O'Brien, what have ye there?" he exclaimed, in
well-feigned surprise.

"Ducks, yer riverence."