"Swamiji, {FN10-5} I don't understand what is required of me here.
I am seeking direct perception of God. Without Him, I cannot be
satisfied with affiliation or creed or performance of good works."

The orange-robed ecclesiastic gave me an affectionate pat. Staging
a mock rebuke, he admonished a few near-by disciples. "Don't bother
Mukunda. He will learn our ways."

I politely concealed my doubt. The students left the room, not overly
bent with their chastisement. Dyananda had further words for me.

"Mukunda, I see your father is regularly sending you money. Please
return it to him; you require none here. A second injunction for
your discipline concerns food. Even when you feel hunger, don't
mention it."

Whether famishment gleamed in my eye, I knew not. That I was hungry,
I knew only too well. The invariable hour for the first hermitage
meal was twelve noon. I had been accustomed in my own home to a
large breakfast at nine o'clock.

The three-hour gap became daily more interminable. Gone were the
Calcutta years when I could rebuke the cook for a ten-minute delay.
Now I tried to control my appetite; one day I undertook a twenty-four
hour fast. With double zest I awaited the following midday.

"Dyanandaji's train is late; we are not going to eat until he
arrives." Jitendra brought me this devastating news. As gesture
of welcome to the swami, who had been absent for two weeks, many