not, and this has been at times a very painful feeling indeed. I don't want
to be trusted (perhaps you may think my fear, even before this affair,
somewhat amusing); but so it was and is; people _won't_ believe I go
as far as I do--they will cling to their hopes. And then, again, intimate
friends have almost reproached me with 'paltering with them in a double
sense, keeping the word of promise to their ear, to break it to their
hope.' They have said that my words against Rome often, when narrowly
examined, were only what _I_ meant, but that the effect of them was
what _others_ meant. I am not aware that I have any great motive for
this paper beyond this--setting myself right, and wishing to be seen in my
proper colours, and not unwilling to do such penance for wrong words as
lies in the necessary criticism which such a retractation will involve on
the part of friends and enemies; though, since nothing one does is without
a meaning [that is, higher than one's own], things may come from it beyond
my own meaning.

Thanks for ... the information from newspapers, which you give me, of our
hopes from Sir R. P., which I had not seen in them.

By-the-bye, in the paper, for 'person's respect' near the end, read
'persons I respect;' and 'to the editor' is fudge.

Ever yours,

J. H. NEWMAN.

P.S.--Thanks for your flattering answers about my book. It must go,
however, from Rivington's with 'from the author,' and I will add my own
writing when we meet. Since you have had a specimen of the book (dose?), I
may add, in opposition to you, that it will be the best, not the most