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A Parody Outline of History by Donald Ogden Stewart
page 44 of 104 (42%)
PRISCILLA, infinitely radiant, infinitely beautiful, with a
bottle of vermouth in one hand and a jug of gin in the other.)
PRISCILLA: Auntie, that was a dirty trick to hide the vermouth.
Hello Miles--shoot many Indians today?

MILES: Why--er er--no, Mistress Priscilla.

PRISCILLA: Wish you'd take me with you next time, Miles. I'd
love to shoot an Indian, wouldn't you, auntie?

MRS. BREWSTER: Priscilla! What an idea! And please dear, give
Auntie Brewster the gin. I--er--promised to take some to the
church social tonight and it's almost all gone now.

MILES: I didn't see you at church last night, Mistress
Priscilla.

PRISCILLA: Well I'll tell you, Miles. I started to go to
church-- really felt awfully religious. But just as I was
leaving I thought, "Priscilla, how about a drink--just one little
drink?" You know, Miles, church goes so much better when you're
just a little boiled-- the lights and everything just kind
of--oh, its glorious. Well last night, after I'd had a little
liquor, the funniest thing happened. I felt awfully good, not
like church at all-- so I just thought I'd take a walk in the
woods. And I came to a pool--a wonderful honest-to-God
pool--with the moon shining right into the middle of it. So I
just undressed and dove in and it was the most marvelous thing in
the world. And then I danced on the bank in the grass and the
moonlight-- oh, Lordy, Miles, you ought to have seen me.
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