"Now, your Lordship, if you will allow me to advise you," said Mr.
Choate, "when you get to the sidewalk curb you will see two hansoms.
Take the one to the right: the one to the left doesn't exist."


An intoxicated man hailed a cab.

After he had climbed in, the cabby leaned over and asked, "What street
do you want?"

"What streets have you?" he inquired.

"Lots of 'em," smiled the cabby, humoring him.

"Gimme 'em all," he said, waving his arm grandly.

After they had been driving for several hours, the man in the cab
ordered a stop.

"How mush do I owe you?"

"Seven dollars and fifty cents."

"Well--you better drive back till you get to thirty-fi' shents, 'cause
thashall I got."


WIFEY--"I heard a noise when you came in last night."

HUBBY--"Perhaps it was the night falling."